10 things
by atoizzard
Summary: A series of short Caryl poetry and prose.
1. 10 things he wants to tell her

1. You terrify me.

2. I say your name often in my head. But saying it out loud is like a sacred act.

3. I hate that you have scars. I hate that you see mine.

4. And I hate that they are branded on our bodies. As if to remind me of the shape of his hands.

5. I speak to you with my eyes. Can you understand their dialect?

6. The forest is my sanctuary. You are like my forest.

7. You put my heart back together after it was crushed and stomped on by the world.

8. I wish I could have saved her.

9. I come up with reasons to take you on my bike because I want your arms around me.

10. You were wrong. I liked you first.


	2. 10 things she wants to tell him

1. I hear what your eyes are saying to me. Bring your ear down close and listen:

2. My heart is telling you to be careful now that the jagged pieces he left of it are in your hands.

3. I never want you to stop looking at me that way.

4. No one but you has cared enough to bring me flowers.

5. Will you let me erase the brand of his hands with my lips?

6. Don't ever leave me again.

7. You captured my heart like it was a doe: quietly. Without warning.

8. You are worthy. Let me count the ways until you never doubt it.

9. She would've loved you.

10. I've changed my mind. You're not as good as them. You're better.


	3. Note

_I'd love to write more pieces like this (list style poems or poems in general) - if you have ideas, please do send me a message or leave a comment! Thank you :) _


	4. Questions and Answers

1. Could she see I was trained in being invisible?

Her eyes told me I wasn't darkness,

in the form of a man.

2. Did she know I was starving?

She fed me,

when her lips found their way to mine.

3. How could she see the bruises

I worked so hard to hide?

She unraveled me.

And used her soft hands to repair my brokenness.

4. Can she hear my heart

when she stands close?

It beats as if its been awakened,

saying:

5. At last.

I've found what I've been searching for.


	5. My Sanctuary

I found my sanctuary when I was 9.

I ran to it, my wounds exposed,

Festering and ugly,

Looking for refuge.

I came to it wrapped in darkness,

Cloaked in the shadows of my past.

The forest, with its depth

Tranquility,

And comfort,

Embraced me

And unwrapped me.

And guided me to safety.

The forest, with its muted beauty,

Ignored by people who,

See its subtlety as simplicity.

I found her like I found the forest:

Terrified and alone,

Eclipsed by his shadow.

My wounds gaping wide,

Carved deep into my bones.

And like the forest, she is depth,

Tranquility,

And comfort,

Telling me with her eyes

all that I ever need to know,

and all that I ever need to hear.

She looks at me as if

the world never clipped my wings,

As if she'll smooth away, the footprints

Left behind on my heart,

And I,

I look to her like she is my forest,

My tranquil refuge,

My sanctuary.


	6. 5 things he felt for the first time

5 Things he Felt for the First Time

5. Tenderness. He was confused by it at first, having been moulded by roughness and shaped by violence. She was tenderness itself. Her soft eyes understood him, her kind words reassured him, and her gentle hands comforted him. Slowly, she chipped away at the solid walls he thought were impenetrable.

4. Friendship. Real friendship, that is. It was always those strings-attached friendships for him. He waited for her to ask what she wanted from him. But that question never came.

3. A racing heart. His body was wired to sense danger or to detect an oncoming hit. He was used to his heart racing out of fear. When his heart started racing as she came close to him, he thought it meant danger. So he retreated and reacted. Now he can tell the difference. It's not fear. It's anticipation.

2. Being good enough. She told him he was good even though he didn't believe it. She must have noticed because she repeated her words of reassurance until he didn't hear _his_ voice anymore telling him he was worthless.

1. Heartache. She was just gone. And it broke him completely. He went to her grave, wanting to tell her all the things he never could get out but even then. He remained silent. So he did what he knew best – he showed her, with their sacred symbol. It was the first gift he ever gave to someone. And he gave her his heart along with it.


	7. 10 things that drive her crazy

**10 things that drive her crazy (prompt from Guest) **

1. I can't help but think of all of the germs you just swallowed when you lick your fingers like that. (I know, I know)

2. I hate that he ruined touch for you because touch is something I'm good at.

3. One of these days I'm going to clean you up like you clean that crossbow.

4. Speaking of which, can you just put it on the top bunk because if I trip on it one more time…

5. You slurp your soup.

6. I stop myself from tucking your hair behind your ears. It hides your eyes.

7. Hearing you laugh, really laugh, makes me laugh. You sound like a choking donkey.

8. But you're my choking donkey.

9. _My_. I always do that in my head. _Are_ you mine? My hearts needs to hear it:

10. Because sometimes, the hesitation in your step is deafening.


	8. 12 thoughts she has of her

**12 thoughts she has of her**

1. I'm holding on to your hair bands. They are the only pieces I have left of you.

2. Do you know how much I love you?

3. My dreams are our time.

4. I miss the smell of your hair. I miss burying my face in your hair.

5. I think about the smile you had on your face when I pulled out that twix bar after we finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

6. My sweet, sweet girl.

7. Do you know how much I love you?

8. You would have liked Lizzie and Mika.

9. And Judith would have taken to you quickly. You were so good with babies.

10. I did my best to protect you from him but I still lost you.

11. I'm sorry.

12. I know how much you hated them, but baby remembering the smattering of freckles on your nose saves me on the bad days.


End file.
